


Bad Hair Day

by Theoroark



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Hair Dyeing, Kid (and irresponsible teen) fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 03:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13941189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theoroark/pseuds/Theoroark
Summary: Commander Reyes later asked Jesse, a touch mockingly, how Fareeha had managed to blackmail him. And that really wasn't fair. Reyes needed to stop projecting. Fareeha hadn't blackmailed him, thank you very much.She had bribed him.





	Bad Hair Day

Commander Reyes later asked Jesse, a touch mockingly, how Fareeha had managed to blackmail him. And that really wasn't fair. Reyes needed to stop projecting. Fareeha hadn't blackmailed him, thank you very much. 

 

She had bribed him. 

 

"So your telling me, your mom just leaves bits of armory lying around the house?" he had asked. Fareeha rolled her eyes at his skeptical tone. 

 

"Not her rifles, dummy. But she brings her gear home sometimes, if she needs to tune it up or if she forgets it's in her pocket or something. And I know for a fact she loses her scopes all the time. Torb complains about it like, every time he sees her. So yeah, I don't think she'll notice if I swipe you one."

 

Jesse rubbed at his chin, mulling it over. 

 

"You're never going to be as good a shot as her if you don't have the right gear."

 

"I'd need a damn new eye to be as good as her," he muttered. He immediately felt bad but Fareeha just sighed. 

 

"Come on man. Are you in or not?"

 

Jesse looked down at the thirteen year old, her mouth set and her arms folded, looking all the world like her mother when he was running late to the range. 

 

"Okay," he said. "I'm in."

 

There was a drug store a couple miles away from the base, and while he was still very much on parole, it hadn't taken much of an excuse to get an agent to drive him out there. He had practically sprinted through the hair care aisle, and hid the box under big bags of Kit Kats and some gel inserts. When he dumped the contents of the bag on the Amaris' kitchen floor, Fareeha had almost been completely distracted by the chocolate. 

 

"Awesome," she said, examining the box once she had a mouth full of wafer. "This is the exact right shade. Thanks, Jesse."

 

"No problem." He shifted on his feet and scanned the counter. "So, that scope..."

 

"Uh. You still have to help me actually dye it."

 

"What?! No!" He shook his head vigorously and Fareeha raised an eyebrow. "All you said was get the dye–"

 

"Well I can't do this myself! I can't see the back of my head!" He ran his fingers through his hair and she pouted. "Please, Jesse?"

 

"Like I have a choice," he muttered, and she grinned, scooped up the dye and the Kit Kats, and raced to the bathroom. Jesse followed her, picked up the box, and scanned it as she waited impatiently. A lot of the instructions were talking about things like "test areas." He could probably skip a lot of this stuff. 

 

"You got gloves?" he asked. 

 

"Like, latex ones?" Jesse nodded. "I dunno. Did you buy any?" Jesse groaned and took the tub of dye out of the box. 

 

"I'll just... scrub my hands real hard or something."

 

He opened the tub and began to work, checking the clock every now and then. He wasn't quite sure how much time he had– Captain Amari was a busy woman, but she was also a mother, but Fareeha was also a responsible near-teen, but also, well, this. In any case, he was getting the dye spread evenly through her hair. And that was all he really needed to do, right?

 

"You did something wrong," Fareeha announced. It had been over an hour and all they had to show for it was Fareeha's hair vaguely resembling a furry oil slick. Jesse dragged his hand down his face. 

 

"It's... it's all there," he said. "Are you sure it's not the kind of dye?"

 

"Nuh-uh! Amy Ferrero told me to get this exact brand, and her hair looks awesome!" Fareeha started to stand up and reached for the box. "You did something wrong."

 

Jesse snatched the box off the counter and held it away from her grasping hand. "I did not! I did everything I needed to do. I'm done here, you give me that scope and I'm leaving."

 

"You're not leaving until the job's done!"

 

"The job's a bust, kid! Just wash your hair!"

 

"Give me that box right now, Jesse McCree, or I'll–"

 

"Or you'll what, habibti?"

 

Jesse and Fareeha froze and turned, slowly, to the door. Captain Amari stood there, surveying the scene. 

 

"This seems to be quite a mess," she said. Her face and tone were mild, but Jesse could still smell the more potent language subtextualized in her one sentence. She stared directly at him, and he briefly wondered if the Egyptian military had installed a death ray in her bionic eye. 

 

"Jesse was going to help me dye my hair but it's not working," Fareeha let out in a rush. Jesse blinked, still a bit unable to speak. The captain turned from him, mercifully, and looked her daughter up and down. 

 

"Well of course it didn't," she said. Fareeha frowned. 

 

"Huh?"

 

"Your hair's almost black," Captain Amari said drily. "If you draw on a black piece of paper with a blue marker, what color would you get?" Fareeha's shoulders drooped. 

 

"Okay. Fair point."

 

"You have to bleach it first." She walked up to the counter and examined the box of dye. "It says so, right here."

 

Jesse cleared his throat. "I uh. May have missed that."

 

"Mmm," Captain Amari said noncommittally. She tapped her chin. "McCree." Jesse narrowly refrained from jumping in place. "I believe the commissary actually sells hair bleach. Would you mind running down and getting some, before they close?" 

 

Jesse looked at Fareeha. Her eyes were wide and she was attempting to subtly mouth something to him. He looked back at Captain Amari. She was watching him calmly, but her eyes were bright. 

 

"Yes Captain," he said. He tried not to look at Fareeha's crumpled face as he turned and all but ran out the door. 

 

When he came back, though, Fareeha was smiling. So was the captain. He hesitated in the doorway, the tub of bleach in both hands. 

 

"Thank you, Jesse," Captain Amari said, ignoring his nervousness. "I appreciate it."

 

"Not a problem, ma'am."

 

"Nonsense. You've been a great help." He might have imagined it, but he could have sworn both of their smiles grew. "In fact, we noticed that there's more than enough dye for a second job. After everything you've done for Fareeha, it only seems right that she should share."

 

Jesse swallowed hard and took an involuntary step back. "Oh, no, ma'am, I uh– I appreciate it, but–"

 

"But what, McCree?" Captain Amari asked serenely. "If it's good enough for my daughter, surely it's good enough for you."

 

"Yeah, Jesse. It's good enough for you." Fareeha's grin was absolutely sharklike. He looked between mother and daughter, sighed, and sat down on the tile floor. 

 

-

 

When he came into work the next day, hair electric blue, Commander Reyes nearly fell out of his chair laughing. 

 

"She warned me," he gasped, as Jesse stood there glumly. "But I couldn't have imagined how just– fuckin'– holy shit–"

 

"You done?" Jesse asked, after a solid minute of Reyes being folded in on himself. 

 

Reyes looked up, managed a, "You look like an anime protagonist," and then collapsed again. Jesse felt the scope in his pocket and said a silent prayer for better foresight.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway Sombra absolutely has pictures of this awful 3 weeks of Jesse's life.
> 
> I'm @tacticalgrandma on tumblr if you want to talk to me there!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this, and any comments/kudos will make me love you <3


End file.
